While pregnant with our second child, a request from the doctor led to blood tests for my husband and me in order to rule out a genetic disorder. We already had a child and had undergone genetic testing in a large medical center, so I was unconcerned.
When the test results came back trait positive for both of us, I sat stunned listening to the doctor list the chances (25%) that our child would be born with a genetic disorder.
Throughout the remaining five months of pregnancy, I memorized and meditated on scriptures I had written on index cards. We prayed for health and wholeness. I had faith to believe for a healthy baby.
Ten days after our child arrived, the pediatrician called to tell me that the precious infant resting in my arms did have the genetic disorder.
How could this be?! I thought that my faith would prevent such a diagnosis. My heart hurt with thoughts of what could be. My child - now an adult - taught me, by example, how to live by faith.
What I learned over the years is that:
- my faith enabled me to have peace with God - through fun times and tough times
- faith gave me access to grace - the grace I stand in daily
- I could rejoice in hope of the glory of God - no matter the circumstance
This faith-leading lifestyle unfolded step by step - not all at once. When I faltered in faith, grace allowed me to stand again. Faith enabled me to hope.
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:1-2
I continue to grow in faith - rejoicing in hope.
Join me at the Faith Barista's Jam and share a story of faith.
I enjoy hearing stories from parents and grandparents about their children (and grandchildren). I often think back to years long gone when my two young adults were babies. What lingers vividly in my memory are not sleepless nights and colic-y cries, but the curious looks and Gumby-like facial contortions; the doubled-over laughter and top of the lungs singing.
At the end of several hours of intense numbers crunching, a friend came to my desk to show a picture on her smart phone. Two weeks old Sophia lay swaddled in a blanket nestled in a baby carrier. That one picture changed my countenance. I felt gratitude bubbling from my heart and head - spilling over from my mouth.
How amazing to watch newborn babies acclimate to their new environments oblivious to all but required needs - sleeping, eating, and eliminating.
Their power to evoke Creator praise astounds me. So with this in mind, I join thanks-givers at Ann's blog and write thanks to the One who gives and gives and gives.
You've had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God's pure kindness. Then you'll grow up mature and whole in God. 1 Peter 2:2-3 The Message
#1028 - 1037
Sophia's hand to the brow at 2 weeks old
Milan leaning into her daddy's hands as he massages her scalp
Big brother, Jaden, gently kissing baby's forehead
Sydney dancing for the summer
Sienna prancing proudly in her ruffled dress
CJ's careful study of faces before him
Marguerite's four grands - who are grand indeed
Tales from Abby's curious and loving three grandsons and single granddaughter
Littlest one born so soon - living daily
Drinking deeply of God's pure kindness
Remember when...?
In joy,
During the last two weeks of May this year, I took advantage of a family trip to schedule whitespace time for me (as defined by the Faith Barista). I felt depleted and parched. The moments of spiritual rest - unhurried time with the Lord- restored my weary soul.
While in the UK, I heard a sermon titled Wells Old and New that focused on the story of Isaac unstopping old and digging new wells. As I thought about wells, I recognized that I am in a new season of life (age-wise) and I must dig new wells - new habits, renewed focus, expanded trust with corresponding actions in the presence of the Lord began the process.
As I sat with these thoughts, the words of Isaiah 12 played over and over again on my internal iPod. Within those words resided well unstopping and digging instructions for me in this season:
- Praise God - every day - throughout the day
- Trust and do not be afraid
- Recognize the Lord as my strength and my song
- Joyfully draw water from the wells of salvation - He is my salvation!
- Give thanks to the Lord
- Call out to the Lord
- Tell people what the Lord has done
- Proclaim His exalted name out loud
- Sing for joy
Since returning to my daily routines, I am more aware of my wells that are unstopped and new wells being dug - this is a daily process. Throughout the day I draw water from the well...and out of me living water flows...
One of my favorite books from childhood, Oliver Twist, implanted hope in my heart at an early age. Oliver's sincere and open heart remained, even as he experienced tough
times and harsh treatment. Oliver's caretaker sold him into evil hands all because he asked for more food.
As a child, I lived a timid existence - afraid to speak up and ask questions. As I grew to understand who I am in all aspects of my being: physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, I noticed that hope can exist in my heart even when life circumstances turn my insides upside down!
Years ago, I learned from Habakkuk to ask the Lord questions. He moved from asking two questions (a bit of complaining included) and waiting for the Lord's response. Life did not magically get better for Habakkuk (it didn't for Oliver either).
However, hearing God's response brought a prayer to Habakkuk's lips and a resolve to rejoice in the Lord no matter what was happening around him.
Recently, when life circumstances turned my insides upside down; when my understanding of situations left me perplexed, I remembered to ask for what I needed.
Please, Lord, may I have some more peace, wisdom, strength?
I sat back and waited and experienced joy while waiting. Amazing that Grace, isn't He?
While strolling from room to room in the National Gallery (London), I entered an exhibit titled: Take One Picture. The painting, Tobias and the Angel, provided a cross-curricular focus for primary grade students to creatively develop works of art using the story from the painting.
The exhibit awakened my senses as I moved around the room: my eyes moved from one object to another. I touched textile creations. I heard music inspired by the painting. I saw elegantly crafted fish and squares of colors that mimicked the colors and patterns in the painting.
A large metal sculpture made from scraps testified of the blending of science and art as interpreted and fashioned by students.
While slowly moving from one piece to another, my memories of the American Studies course from my junior year in high school flooded my mind. The course spanned the period from 1700 - 1950. The cross curricular plan made the course alive for me. We studied the history, literature, art and music of each time period simultaneously throughout the school year. The course was challenging in many ways. It was also one of the most interesting and life-changing method of learning I had ever known.
I still enjoy learning a topic across various disciplines.
What is your favorite way to learn?
As Father's Day approaches, my thoughts linger on memories of my father. My father would have 'turned' 95 years old on June 6. He died in 1993. While my father did not live with my mother and their five children, he was present in my life and taught me life lessons. I learned to be a responsible worker from him. I learned to accept the way in which he demonstrated love - giving money or goods. When I was 17 years old, I asked my father to please choose a gift for me and not give me money. He bought me a camel colored winter coat with puffed sleeves and scroll work stitched on the collar. I treasured that coat and kept it for many years. Taking the coat to a second-hand shop felt like giving away a precious jewel.
Today, my friend Barbara and her siblings traveled across states to visit their father. His memory fails him at crucial times and he may need to move out of his home. I think of this family and pray for father and children to hear each other - to take action that meets their needs as a family.
Tonight, I remember John. John - a dear friend with the spiritual heart of the Father - died in November 2010 when his physical heart rested. He taught me that in order to have the Father's heart, I needed to receive the Father's love - just as the prodigal son did.
John visited The Hermitage in St. Petersburg and spent hours viewing Rembrandt's The Return of the Prodigal Son. He said at various points during his time at the museum, he saw himself as the prodigal son, the elder brother, and the father. John served as a spiritual father to so many. I miss him here.
I am grateful for the example of fathering I see in my husband. Experiencing his intentional, willing to grow, patient and gracious approach to our children healed wounds in my heart. I am grateful to know and deeply love him.
Henri Nouwen, in Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming eloquently writes about being a son and being a compassionate father.
Thus for my sake, Jesus becomes the younger son as well as the elder son in order to show me how to become the Father. Through him I can become a true son again and, as a true son, I finally can grow to be compassionate as our heavenly Father is. p. 127
I am so grateful to Father God for showing me what He requires of me, providing life through Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to live out that requirement to:
"do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with my God." (Micah 6:8).
My transformation continues...
Stop by the Faith Barista Jam today and share your thoughts on fathers.
I recently traveled to England with seven family members. The time away restored my soul. The combination of a slower pace and attuned ear resulted in a depth of stillness that I do not experience often enough. Trust and thankfulness flowed from this stillness.
Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth! Psalm 46:10
The end of May echoed the beginning: counting gifts given freely by the Exalted One.
Numbering the gifts and giving thanks day by day for:
#961 - #1027
May 21
scrubbing floors; gathering clothes to give away; packing for two in one suitcase; grace for flight challenges; safe drive to the airport; yielding to rest
May 22
luggage glitch - clarity reached; pleasant car ride; beautiful accomodations for eight; strolling city streets; sitting in the park with Mom; history framed on walls
May 23
safe arrival of three; glimpse of the Queen; walking on ancient floors; religious freedom; eying London; reading her story; long-distance greetings
May 24
sights and sounds of Piccadilly Circus; tea and biscuits with new friend; hearing the voice of the Prince; family walk; children jumping rope; public transportation
May 25
verdant Kent countryside; Canterbury; napping in the people-mover; lovely dining hall; walking through disappointment; dreamy bed linens
May 26
Merton tour; rain-facilitated rest; multi-colored hues in courtyard garden; cooking with Sis; witnessing legacy; reading Digging to America
May 27
flying pigs; lunch with colleagues; climbing narrow stairs to the rooftop; late night van ride; grace for flexibility; reading 1611 King James Bible under glass
May 28
moments to connect; solemn and special graduation ceremony; her beautiful, bountiful hair; doorways and hope; pub dinner to celebrate
May 29
worshipping with believers in a foreign land; garden walk; packing for home; contemplating wells - old and new; resolve to write; agreeing in prayer; ginger cookies
May 30
raindrops and farewells; giving way; 31 years of team work; wise, adventurous husband; airport shopping; conversation in flight
May 31
slow pace; grocery shopping; sharing life stories; cooking dinner at home; listening to Mama; parking lot chat
Consider joining the Gratitude Community in counting gifts and giving thanks!
